Speech class
by The Blue Griffin
Summary: Beth, Ezekiel, Leshawna, Izzy, Lindsay, Justin, Katie, and Sadie have to go to speech class. And their teacher is someone who's name is to long to say in this summary.Chapter four: More stories, and the spider vs Izzy.
1. Chapter 1

1

**I was thinking about TDI when I noticed that some of them** **have speech problems. This story has nothing against anyone who has speech problems. TDI belongs to Teletoon**, **and I think Teletoon belongs to Canada, but how would I know, I'm not Canadian.**

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**SPEECH CLASS**

The bus was moving along the bumpy, dirt road. Beth was asleep, Leshawna, Justin, and Ezekiel were crossing their arms angrily, Lindsay was wondering why she was going, Katie and Sadie sat screaming at a spider, and Izzy was crawling under the seats.

"I'm Canadian, I have a Canadian accent, why do I have too' go too' speech class when I speak perfectly fo'or a Canadian, eh!" Ezekiel ranted. Leshawna narrowed her eyes. "You think ya'll shouldn't be here, well I can't believe Chris made_ me _go to **/censored/ **speech class! In the middle of the freakin' forest! 'It's in the fine print' he says, well I'll show him fine print."

The bus pulled to a stop and Sadie broke down the door to the bus running from the spider, Katie followed shortly. Izzy jumped out, picked up the nearest stick, and tried to "slay" the bus. Lindsay left with Leshawna, then Ezekiel got off the bus**. **When Justin got off Beth started shivering from the cold..

"Miss,...Miss! Stop whacking my bus with that unusually sharp stick!" The Bus driver shouted at Izzy. Izzy kept whacking the bus. " Miss, if I could run over a girl scout, I would not be afraid to run over you." He stated. "Go ahead, beast!" Izzy shouted. The driver revved the engine, then pushed on the pedal. Izzy jumped on the roof of the moving bus, and stabbed the roof, which just broke the stick.

The drive started driving around wildly, almost running over the campers. Beth, still asleep, hit the front window of the bus. She woke up on impact, and screamed. "Oh my goth! A thpider!" Oblivious to her surroundings. The spider jumped on the drivers face. He lost control and started heading for a tree. Beth jumped out and landed on Leshawna.

"Izzy kill!" Izzy screamed, then got hit in the face with a branch and fell off the bus. The bus hit the tree, and burst into flames. The driver managed to jump off the bus. Sadie and Katie, sad about not seeing the spider come out alive, started to tear. "Poor spider!"They shouted and hugged each other. The same spider came out of the bus, unnoticed by Katie and Sadie.

The spider jumped onto Katie's face. Katie stopped crying, and started screaming, which made Sadie scream. "Will ya'll stop screamin', you're assaulting my eardrums!" Leshawna shouted. Lindsay screamed, grabbed a nearby flat board, and hit Katie in the face. Katie fell unconscious on the ground. Then spider jumped onto Sadie's face.

Sadie screamed and ran, more afraid of Lindsay and the board. Lindsay chased her shouting. "Susan, wait! There is a spider on your face! Die spider! Die!" The campers watched, uncertain if to run, or hide. Ezekiel walked up to the building and knocked on the door. A middle aged woman wearing a white powdered wig, answered the door. "Yeeeeeeeeeessssssss." She said in a hiss.

"Uh, we're from Total Drama Island, eh." The moment Ezekiel said 'eh' the woman smacked him in the face with a purse. "Ow! What was that fo'or, eh!" She kept hitting him with the purse. Leshawna came and pulled the woman off of Ezekiel. " 'Eh', and 'fo'or, are not in this dictionary." The woman said.

Leshawna looked at the woman angrily. "What do you think ya'll doing. You do not smack this sexist, home schooled, prairie boy, toque wearing, jacket wearing, nose picking, strong in Canadian accent, white boy, boot wearing, pig.... What am I saying! Here, take him and smack the crap out of him."

"LINE UP!" She shouted. All the campers lined up. "Now, all of you are disgusting in your own way!" She looked at Ezekiel, hit him with her purse. "No hats!" She swiped his toque and threw it in a box. Ezekiel wanted to tell her "It's called a toque, eh," but decided to be silent.

She walked by Justin. "Dress propriety when in the presence of a lady!" She shouted, and smacked him. She went by Izzy. " You, miss, are a very disturbed child who belongs in a locked chest at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean! Never, crash a mobile vehicle into a tree!" She shouted, and smacked Izzy. Izzy narrowed her eyes and gritted her teeth.

The woman looked at Lindsay. "Take off that helper bra you little slut!" Lindsay's eyes watered. "I'm not wearing a helper bra." "Why, that's impossible, those breasts are the size of the whole dictionary, and might as well weigh the same!" She screamed. Lindsay began bawling.

She walked up to Sadie. "You belong in the zoo with other zebras, you obviously are one." Sadie hugged the unconscious Katie like a teddy bear.

She walked up to Beth. "You are not in scouts miss, if you were, I would make you sleep on the cold, hard ground! So if you don't want to do that, dress properly!" Beth hid her emotions and frowned. The woman then walked up to Leshawna. "You are not a gangster ready to pounce, are you?" Leshawna looked up at her. "I don't care about answering any of ya'll questions." The woman smacked Leshawna a couple times shouting. "Do not disrespect the likes of me!"

The woman walked away from the campers and over to the front door. "You are all to come in here. You do not speak unless I ask you to speak. You also call me ms. Lorkoxdoinsercvyierbul, or ma'am and miss. Now get your bum in here before I smack it down to hell!" They froze for a second, then all ran in.

When Ms. Lorkoxdoinsercvyierbul ( lets call her ma'am or miss) entered the room everyone got quit. "Now, I will allow you sick people to go look around the school.... GET OUT THERE OR YOU WILL GET TWENTY LASHES!" All the campers ran out and pretended to enjoy looking at things.

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**So, how do you like it so far, I am going to add more soon, but I have to work on my other story. Please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

1 **Chapter two: English**

It was not really easy for the campers on their first day. Miss Ma'am made them look at everything with a strict no-more, no-less five minute policy. What was even worse were that they slept on mattresses stuffed with dictionaries. "Um, Lefawnda, I can't sleep.... and do my boobs look big?" Lindsay asked.

"No hun', she's just jealous that she doesn't have ya'll boobs." Leshawna replied, used to Lindsay getting her name wrong. "Uhhhh. I feel like I'm sleeping on dictionaries." Katie sighed. "Oh my gosh, me too" Sadie cried. "EEEEEEEEEE!" They screamed together. Just then, Miss Ma'am opened the door.

"I hear talking! Do you want to be relocated to a dilapidated cabin to sleep in. Do you want that to occur" She shouted. The room was silent. "That is what I thought....NOW GET TO SLEEP!" She left and slammed the door. No one dared to speak, that is until Ezekiel whispered. "What just happened, eh?" The next thing he knew, he was grabbed, and put into this old, moldy, cabin.

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The campers got up, got ready, and went into the school building. Almost immediately Miss Ma'am popped out from behind a desk. "I hope you slept well, because you have a big report that is due tomorrow. You will write a story about anything you wish, except for anything inappropriate." She said while eying the class.

She handed out papers, and didn't give one to Ezekiel. "Um, you forgot to give me one, eh." Miss ma'am glared at him sternly, walked up to him, and grabbed his ear. "Ow ow ow ow ow." He cried in pain.

"You can sit up here, next to the teacher's desk. Also, if you need paper, you can come up and get it yourself." She glared at Ezekiel once more, and walked out of the room. "Oh oh oh oh! I know what my story can be about!" Izzy shouted. "Now all I need is a small tree to write in." Izzy ran out of the room with only a knife in hand.

Everyone was stunned. "What do you think she's going to do with that knife?" Katie asked. "I do not know." Leshawna replied. Sadie shuttered, and then whimpered.

Soon everyone was working on a story. Of course Katie and Sadie were working together, and Lindsay asked "How do you spell 'kaleidoscope'?" "K. a. l. e. i. d. o. s. c. o. p. e." Beth replied. "Ohhhhhhh."

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Miss ma'am was walking outside when she saw Izzy in a tree. " Shouldn't you be working on your report _Izzy_." She said, hissing on Izzy. "I finished." She replied. "Okay, show me." Miss Ma'am asked. "OK!" Izzy jumped off and started hitting the tree with the knife.

"What the hell are you doing!?" Izzy looked at her with a confused stare. "Uh, what does it look like? I'm getting my story." Miss Ma'am gritted her teeth."That was my prize fandango tree, a mango tree watered with Fanta! Izzy grinned, and ran off, leaving a trail off dust behind her. Miss Ma'am followed, and the chase began.

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Miss Ma'am was starting to get tired after three straight hours of running. Everyone had gathered around to watch, or to get some inspiration. Smoke came from Ezekiel's pencil. Lindsay's hair got on his paper right where his pencil was.

There was a crack, the a sizzle, then Lindsay's hair caught on fire. Now, hair burns really fast, so by the time Lindsay noticed, she was bald. She looked in shock, and then, "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My beautiful hair, it's ruined!"

Her scream got Izzy and Miss Ma'am to stop. Everyone came to look. Lindsay was bawling. An aura of sympathy fell over, then Ezekiel was looked upon with a bunch of angry glares. "Oh crap,..........eh."


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE: Two Essays, One Chapter

A/N : Caution, there is a lot of vomit in this chapter, so beware.

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Early in the morning, Leshawna pulled out a laptop and started looking up humorous videos. She laughed a lot, and almost woke up the others.

After about an hour, she went to go to the bathroom.

Then, Duncan came out of the shadows and typed something into her computer. "I love my job." He whispered. When walking out, Cody snuck into the room.

"I can't believe Chris hired me to type in… Two Girls and One Cup,…. into Leshawna's laptop." He walked over to her laptop and looked to see it was already on the horrifying video.

His eyes widened, and he threw up. "Leshawna is a very sick woman." He mumbled. Then Leshawna started to open the door. Cody ran to find a spot to hide, but slipped in his puke.

She opened the door, and saw him moaning on the floor in a black stealth outfit. "I'm not gonna' ask." She walked to her laptop and saw some of the video. "Oh my God!"

Leshawna threw up on Cody, which woke up Ezekiel. "What's wrong, eh?" He saw the video and didn't react. "I've seen this video before, eh, that made me a little afraid of wo'oman."

"What did?" Lindsay said while she and Beth saw the video. Beth threw up on Ezekiel, which made him throw up. "Aunt Lauren?" Lindsay asked looking at a girl in the video. "And I kissed her!" Lindsay shouted, then threw up.

"Oh my gosh! This is like the time I drank pure alcohol and threw up-" Then Izzy vomited. Justin looked at the video and chuckled. "It's like Katie and Sad-Oh my God!" He threw up all over the place.

"This is not good for my beauty!" This made Katie and Sadie throw up.

Cody got up and tried to get out of there, but Izzy and Ezekiel puked on him.

Then they all looked at the video and threw up at the same time.

Duncan watched from afar in a tree, laughing, then saw Izzy kiss Ezekiel and puke in his mouth. Duncan vomited on a passerby that happened to be Ms. Ma'am.

"Aw Crap!"

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The next day Ms. Ma'am came in carrying Cody and Duncan by the collar. "You are now part of my class for your unnecessary behavior. " She gave them hats that said 'dud' to wear.

"Stupid Chris said he'd pair me and Gwen up for a challenge if I did this." Cody whined. Ms. Ma'am came and smacked him with her ruler. "Gwen and me you perverted stalker!"

Cody yelped and sucked his fingers. Duncan smiled and chuckled. "Ya, you are a perverted stalker." Ms. Ma'am then hit him with her ruler. "'Ya' is not a word you want to be criminal!"

"Wannabee? I am a criminal you fat gorilla." He responded. Ms. Ma'am glared at him. "Where is your report?" She boldly asked. "Huh huh, report?" "F!" Ms. Ma'am shouted.

"And you?" She asked Cody. "Actually, yes. I always carry an essay on what I would do if I won Total Drama." He said handing her some papers. "Suck up." Duncan said.

"Now class, I will read Lindsay's and Ditzy's report-" Ms. Ma'am started. "You're a Kentucky Fried Bastard! Oh boy, I've always wanted to call someone that." Izzy rambled.

"While I lock her up, here is Lindsay's story because she was to afraid come out, so here it is."

_**The Ugly bald lady**_

_There was an ugly bald lady who used to have the most beautiful hair, but it was burned off by, like, an idiotic, sexist, prairie jerk! So now, she, like, has to wait for it to grow back, then buy a pound of hair dye, and work on her hair for, like, two hours. She has to dress like a nun so no one sees her baldness and, like, the clothes are all scratchy. So she basically has a, like, miserable life! Special thanks to the street smart, somewhat big, role model. Like, thanks. And Ezakijerk, F*%$ off! That felt like cursing Heather, you both deserve it!_

Ms. Ma'am clapped and smiled. "This is why Ezakijerk gets an 'F'." Ezekiel frowned and was about to say something when Izzy shouted. "Let me out of this cage you-…here's my story!"

_**Random sh*t **__(I like the name)_

_We woke up to see Chris and Gorilla dead, then Noah kissed Cody and was like, 'I did not!' Bridgette killed Geoff by accident, and the RCMP came and shot her. Ekekiel died from lack of vitamin D. Owen was trying to lift himself but broke his arms, then had a heart attack. Ponyo and her fish ate everyone. THE END_

"Izzy, your f*%$*ed up." Duncan replied to the story.

"I know." Izzy said.

**I don't own Ponyo(Didn't even see the movie) or Two girls and One Cup (Don't watch, I hear it's gross.) And reply to my poll and see my new rocking photo. Please R&R.**


	4. Chapter 4

1

**A/N: Not one review last chapter....sniffle....you were all probably on vacation though. This chapter has more stories in a story. Oh, and big fight scene later.**

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"Silence! We're back!" Ms. Ma'am shouted. "Back?.....Where did we go?" Lindsay asked. "Ha! It's the next chapter of a bad story made by a nerd that has no life!" Izzy stated rather loudly.

"What is she talking about?" Katie wondered aloud. Izzy started cackling wildly. "Katie! I'm scared." Sadie whined. "Shut up! The next report is being passed around. So read it you stupid children!" Ms. Ma'am screamed. "This one is Ezekiel's."

_**A poem of appreciation to my family**_

___Roses are red, violets are blue_

_Oh, my family, I love you_

_My mom, who calls me a pain in the eye_

_And who's last words to me were 'Bye bye!'_

_My dad, who told me woman suck_

_And made me lose a hundred thousand bucks_

_My dog, who wakes me late at night_

_Though, he sometimes gives me a fright_

_My sister, who actually goes to school_

_And hates my dad because she thinks girls rule_

_My Aunt, who helps teach me Math_

_When I repeat Dad's words, she shows me wrath_

_My Grandparents, who don't really like me_

_They think I'm a hick, but why don't they see _

_I'm a good guy,_

_So please give me a second chance,.sigh_

_End_

Ms. Ma'am shook her head. "Horrible. Simply disgusting." Ezekiel looked confused. "Why?" Ms. Ma'am was going to answer when a bus drove through the wall, and driving it,...... was the spider.

"Ahhh! Katie! Save me." Sadie screamed jumping on Katie. Katie shrieked as she was crushed under Sadie's weight. Sadie whimpered while Izzy pulled out a katana blade. She glared at the spider, which had grown very big.

The spider narrowed its many eyes at Izzy, then jumped out of the bus. They lunged at each other, with Izzy swinging her sword. The spider dodged and quickly spun a web. Izzy got tangled in the net-like web. The spider forcefully bit her wrist.

Izzy laughed like a maniac and cut off one of the spiders legs. The spider then spat digestive juices at her.

Everyone watched the fight in fright. Beth hid under her desk. Sadie held Katie close. Cody had brought out a can of bug repellent. Ezekiel hid behind Leshawna, who covered her eyes. Justin passed out, and Ms. Ma'am looked worried.

Duncan, however, brought out some weapons and threw them to Izzy and the giant spider.

The spider broke Izzy's blade in half, so she now had a medieval flail. The spider had a stun gun and shocked Izzy. Right when she was about to crush the spider with the flail, he shocked Izzy's arm.

Izzy frowned as her arm had a spasm and threw the flail, which hit Cody in the gut.

Duncan threw her a flame thrower. She fired it and lit a car on fire. "Did you just destroy my precious car!?" Ms. Ma'am screamed. "It's not completely destroyed." Izzy said in between grunts.

The spider ran out of battery to its stun gun, so it now had a M-84 Machine Gun. Izzy got a shield to protect her from bullets. The spider ran out of bullets and Izzy threw her shield away. The spider threw its gun at Izzy, who jumped outside.

They ran into the streets and jumped on a moving car. Izzy threw her flamethrower away and fought with her hands, feet, and teeth, but mostly teeth. The car crashed into a river and Izzy and the spider started to have an underwater fight. Izzy grabbed a fish and smacked the spider. The spider then grabbed a sharp rock and started to slash at Izzy.

The river got shallow and they fell off a waterfall. Izzy fell passed a sign that said:** You Are Now Falling Off Niagra Falls, Idiot**. They then fell on a tour boat. Izzy grabbed a chair and swung it at the spider. The spider ducked and grabbed a fork.

Izzy cried out in pain when it stabbed her arm. Izzy then somehow found a death star and threw it. The spider lost another leg and Izzy found some nunchucks. Izzy swung at the spider, and hit.

The spider flew out of the window and landed in the life boat. The spider bit into the rope to let the boat free. Izzy jumped into the boat and picked up the spider. She started slapping it hard.

The spider grabbed an oar, and swung at Izzy's head. It made a cracking noise when it collided with Izzy's face. "Ow ow. Okay, that's not fair. No face shots." Izzy said painfully. "Im o vey sorey. Is jut te' fiht n'd I ot caryed way. Dos 't hirt?" The spider asked. "PSYCH!" Izzy shouted.

The boat made it ashore and Izzy threw the spider in the sand. Izzy grabbed a big rock and started to smash the spider. Izzy heard the spider cry uncle, so she let him go, just as long as he pays the bus ticket.

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Izzy sat next to the spider on the bus, both scratched up. This earned some stares. When they got off the bus, the spider went home and Izzy went in the classroom.

Cody was on the floor moaning, but other than that, everything was normal. "Izzy, you get detention." Ms. Ma'am said. "Okay." She replied. "I am passing you Beth's report." Ms. Ma'am said as if nothing happened.

_**Big Bertha**_

___Big Bertha was a pig who lived on my farm_. _I love big Bertha like family. She is brown and pink. She likes to roll around in mud. She might look like a pig, but I really think she's beautiful. I learned my social ways from Big Bertha, since she is social with the other animals._

_Big Bertha is-_"Yawn, why are we reading something about Beth herself, she just added two letters." Justin asked.

Beth frowned, but Justin ripped off his shirt. "Okay Thustin, let's hear your story." Beth said dreamily.

_**Male Model **_

_I am a male model, for you idiots that didn't know_. _I'm hot, so I get pictures for modeling almost everywhere. Male Modeling is simple, so I did a simple story._

_THE END_

"To short, F." Ms. Ma'am said. She then gave a speech that was so long, I decided to write it out. It was just about stories and grammar. Then, there was an explosion, and someone was killed.

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**Please R&R**


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